I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Randomize
