I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
