Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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