she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
