low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
