we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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