Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize