what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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