Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
