what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Small penises have feelings too.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
