Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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