so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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