He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize