ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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