we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
