Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
