Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
