It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
