Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
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She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
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I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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