Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
