Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
