Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Randomize
