i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
