i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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