I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
