So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
