I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
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