i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
