As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
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