You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You ate ashes out of my bong
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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