I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
wow bdsm is so cute
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
