bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize