So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
