win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
