no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
