if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
