I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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