You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
