ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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