I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
