Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You don't make any sense
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