:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
