i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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