i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
