1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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