We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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