I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
