they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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