So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
