Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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