oh god the rape fog is back!
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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