It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
