he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
