he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
