i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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