Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
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