Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
