You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
