He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
