can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
