I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
she smelled like a LAN party
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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