Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
