yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
