Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You need a sexual gate keeper
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
