Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
In America we eat man semen.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
