don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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